Shattered
by Jbug
Summary: 20 years ago Edward left Bella in N.M She has tried to move on with her life,now Jacobs disturbing phone call is taking her back to Forks how will she get through the funeral,and who left the bedroom window open? lots of surprises, first ff, please review
1. Shattered Prologue

_Hello readers, I hope you enjoy my first Fan Fiction. Team Jacob will be happy for the first few chapters then it is ALL Team Edward with a new meadow scene and quite the surprise. All characters and settings are the property of Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Please review, I'll reply. J bug_

**SHATTERED- PROLOGUE**

**LONE MOUNTAIN NEVADA**

Jacob's phone call had woken me up

The shrill echo of the ringing phone bouncing off the silence of my bedroom walls and dragging me out from my easy slumber, forcing me back into the reality of another long day.

Who the hell was calling me at five o'clock in the morning? I asked myself glancing at the red neon of my bedside alarm.

Nobody ever phoned with good news before nine, especially on a Sunday. Actually nobody phoned me much at all anymore except Charlie and he knew better than to phone me this early, he knew the hours I was keeping these days.

Rolling over, I snuggled deeper into my duvet and willed the phone to stop.

It worked….. For about a minute then the ringing started again.

I knew I didn't want to answer that phone, the rings definitely had an ominous sound to them but I also knew somehow that if I didn't it would just continue to ring.

Taking a deep breath I reached across my cluttered bedside table and picked up the receiver.

"Hello" I croaked trying to clear my throat.

"Bella it's Jake, um how're ya doing?"

"What's wrong Jacob?"

He was acting way too casual and since I hadn't spoken to Jake in nearly five years I knew this wasn't a social call. Well that and the fact that it was five am and I was having difficulty breathing due to the rising lump in my throat.

"Just tell me what's wrong" I said sounding surprisingly calm.

"It's Charlie" Jacob answered slowly "He had a heart attack, I'm so sorry Bella."

And with those words Jacob's phone call shattered the perfect little life I had built for myself. Smashed right through my impenetrable bubble and ripped the hole in my heart wide open.

Charlie was dead and for the first time in twenty years I was going back to Forks. Back to face the ghosts of my past, back to bury my father.


	2. Surfacing 1

**CHAPTER** **ONE**

**SURFACING**

**My hands were shaking as I tried again to get the key into the door of the Toyota Camry I had just rented here in Port Angeles. It was cold and raining of course and I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. **

**I tried again using both hands to open the car door, but this time only succeeded in dropping my purse and rental agreement into one of the many puddles littering the car lot.**

**I was reaching the end of my patience.**

**In the short time since I had received Jacob's phone call I had gone trough an array of emotions, and I was exhausted.**

**It had taken me an hour just to pull myself off the cool wooden floor of my apartment. I had just lain there listening to the sound of the air conditioner clicking on and off. I couldn't believe Charlie was really gone.**

**My immediate reaction had been to phone my mother but under the circumstances that was impossible now. She was gone as well**

**My mum had been taken from me slowly starting about seven years ago, each day forgetting more and more of her life and those who loved her. **

**Alzheimer's had completely stolen her now and she was living in a care home in Tampa Florida. Phil still visited loyally but I had stopped visiting after she forgot who I was now. At the present I just received weekly reports from Phil. **

**Now I was truly alone in this world.**

**When I finally managed to get off the floor I went into overdrive: Throwing suitable clothes into a bag, phoning the airlines and then my two jobs.**

**I had taken a leave of absence from my real estate job and then just quit the other over the phone I hated working in the casino anyways and only did it to keep my nights busy. **

**I had been able to get a flight out of Vegas right away but the airport had been a nightmare with the aircraft leaving nearly two hours late and full of screaming children, bachelor parties and bad tempered flight attendants. The large man seated next to me had been really happy and wanting to chat until he had seen the look on my face. I'd turned away from him and put my headphones in and gazed at the hot tarmac out the window and trying not to think of anything for the flight.**

**I had gotten quite good at not thinking before my bubble had been burst; now all my emotions were right back on the surface, all my memories right there for me to look at. **

**When the angry flight attendant finally came by pushing the magic drink cart I ordered a wine drinking it in two gulps. I could feel the alcohol hit my bloodstream and tingle in my shoulders. **

**I had been hoping this would put me to sleep for the remainder of the flight instead I was gripped by thoughts of my father and how I would never see him again.**

**It was unthinkable; he was Charlie he was always there. **

**Ironically after twenty years and all the times he had asked me to visit and me finding excuse after excuse I was finally going back to Forks. **

**To not have him there was unthinkable.**

**I had moved right after I graduated. Charlie had understood although I knew he wished things could have been different. But Jacob… well that had been hard.**

**Neither of us had ever really come to terms with how I'd left and things were still unfinished between us. I guess they always would be.**

**It was going to be good to see Jake again though but honestly how could it be twenty years already? How could that much time pass in the blink of an eye?**

**I guess because I had been living my life in my own little bubble, not allowing myself to think ahead or behind and just existing day to day. Allowing nothing to penetrate. I thought only about the immediate here and now and never let myself be drawn outside the box.**

**Time would have a way of getting away from you living like that.**

**Jake and I had spent the whole year **_**after**_**……well **_**after**_** in each others pockets. **

**He had saved me in so many ways, helping me to enter the world of the living again and have fun and laugh!**

**We spent all of our free time together, riding our motorcycles and hanging out in La Push, either at the beach or in Billie's garage tinkering with the bikes and drinking warm soda.**

**Charlie was more than pleased and liked seeing Jake in his house. I had really come to depend on him for my happiness and just let everyone assume that we would end up together, Jacob included.**

**He had always treated me like a girlfriend and towards the end of things I had just let him become that.**

**He respected my boundaries but we held hands a lot and I'd let him kiss me a few times. It had felt strange at first to feel those warm hot lips on mine instead of the cold hard ones I had become accustomed to but it was enjoyable not having to be so careful all the time.**

**I had led him on I guess but I was afraid of losing him, this in retrospect had been a mistake.**

**He was my best friend and even though I loved him we both knew it was not going to be, for his part though he really tried.**

**As grad neared things started to get weird between us. Jacob started to get really needy and jealous, never wanting me out of his sight, I felt suffocated and pulled away from him. **

**We argued a lot.**

**I stayed in Forks for one month after graduation, Charlie urged me to apply to several different universities but I had no interest in anything. Jacob and I were barely speaking and I was feeling depresses and angrier with myself as each day passed.**

**It suddenly came to me one exceptionally grey day.**

**What was I doing here in this damp depressing town anyways?**

**I could go anywhere, I was free!**

**Was I waiting for **_**Him**_** to come back for me?**

**I WAS NOT WAITING FOR **_**HIM**_**!**

**I had spent enough time on **_**Him.**_

**I was going to get on with my life…… today**

**It will be as if **_**He**_** never existed I said to myself.**

**Three days later I booked a flight to California and five days later I was gone.**

**Charlie had driven me to the airport sadly promising to look after "the beast" my trusty red truck until I needed it again.**

**Jacob had shown up just as they were starting to board my flight and Charlie had moved away with a smile on his face. **

**His hair was windblown and wild looking from his undoubtedly last minute decision to see me and subsequently suicidal bike race to the airport, his bronze face angry as he'd marched over to me with his black helmet tucked under one arm.**

**Then he'd scooped me up in one of his giant bear hugs, lifting my feet off the ground.**

"**I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye"**

"**You're crushing me" I gasped**

**He had put me down then but kept his hands on my shoulders and grinned my favourite grin.**

**I noticed that it didn't quite reach his eyes.**

"**I'll always love you Bells, but I know you have to go"**

"**I love you too" I cried**

**And I knew then that we would be the best of friends forever.**

**Just before I walked away He gave me a 'going away present'**

**A silver bracelet with a carved wooden wolf figurine.**

**He had somehow carved this beautiful, delicate wolf himself even with those huge hands.**

**I still have it.**

**I hadn't seen Jacob since that day. **

**We had talked on the phone often enough, **

**E-mailed, wrote letters and even made a few plans over the years to meet but it had never happened. **

**Gradually the phone calls had gotten further and further apart and more awkward.**

**He had married ten years ago.**

**I had just moved again and received the forwarded invitation to his and Leah's wedding two weeks after the fact.**

**I don't think he had really expected me to go but it had sure hurt imagining their life together. The one that could have been mine had I not been so broken up and dead inside.**

**According to Charlie he had married Leah only a few months after they had started dating "too fast if you ask me" he had argued, still hopeful that we would get together one day.**

**Jake and Leah have two beautiful kids now and I guess he's happy.**

**I have their pictures on my fridge, an everyday reminder of what I could have had.**

**I had barely even noticed the drive from the airport I had been so consumed with my thoughts of Jacob,**

**Allowing the memories to flow had sure spaced me out.**

**I wonder how he looks now. I thought**

**Had he finally stopped growing?**

**I smiled to myself and then I saw the sign**

**WELCOME TO FORKS**

**It was all I could do to breathe.**

.


	3. Sweet Evening Breeze 2

**Hello Readers. I would love to know what you think of my first F.F. **

**Jbug**

**CHAPTER TWO**

**SWEET EVENING BREEZE**

**He was waiting for me, like he had expected me to arrive at that exact moment.**

**As I pulled the rental car up to my father's house I saw him.**

**He was leaning casually against a red Ford pick-up obscured by the shadows from the moss covered maples that lined the street from my high school dreams. I hadn't even noticed the truck parked right in front of my fathers house my eyes had been so full of tears. I had just parked across the street and not given it a second thought.**

**Yet there he was as big as day wearing faded jeans and a black t-shirt **

**My Jacob**

**As I opened the car door and stood I took him in**

**He was leaning casually against the truck with arms crossed in front and his left foot behind resting on the tire rim. My favourite grin was plastered on his lovely face.**

**Jake had come yet again to rescue me from my pain.**

**As I staggered towards him tears streaming down my face I realized that he had cut his long hair off and replaced it with eyes of sadness.**

**We held each other for a very long time right there in my fathers driveway and as I cried Jacob hugged me tighter into his chest until I no longer felt like I would break into pieces. **

**I breathed him in, filling my lungs with his very smell and willing strength from it.**

**As Jacob kissed my hair I thought**

**Somewhere Charlie is smiling.**

"**How long have you been here" I asked as I finally pulled away**

"**A while" he paused **

"**I didn't want you to be alone when you first arrived at the house"**

"**Well thank you" "I was just about at my breaking point" I wiped the remainder of my tears from my cheeks onto my shirt sleeve and sighed**

"**It would seem that you had already reached it" he laughed**

**For a moment we just stared at each other. Jacob was definetly older looking.**

**I could see Billy in him now yet he still looked just like the Jacob I remembered only a very handsome middle aged version of himself. The short hair suited him and he had finally stopped growing somewhere around 6'3 **

**I surmised that he was assessing me in very much the same way.**

"**I was glad for the excuse to get out of La Push" he finally said turning and grabbing my bag before heading towards the house **

"**the kids have been climbing the walls these last few days what with all this rain and Billy has had a bad cold for most of the winter so I've been looking in on him" "the garage has been slammed for a month now with all the off road enthusiests getting ready for the rally this weekend and Leah's been pulling double shifts over at the clinic"**

**I could tell he was nervous and slightly uncomfortable talking about his life….**

**Talking about his wife.**

"**Are you o.k" He questioned suddenly turning to look at me again**

"**How does it feel to be back?"**

"**Sorry that's a stupid thing to ask of course your not o.k. but well damn Bella it's really good to see you again, you haven't changed a bit well mabe a few lines here and there, but on you they look good, you could use a good meal though , maybe cut down on that running, hey did you did you hear about Embry and Quill? Man that was hilarious"**

**Jacob continued to ramble on and on about everything and nothing and it was working he was making me feel better. Helping me to forget why I was here and the reason that I had left. Maybe now I could get through these next few days. With his help of course. My own personal ray of sunshine.**

**Neither of us it seemed wanted to go inside the house and so instead we had settled on the front steps. A few beams of sun had actually poked through the clouds at one point as we talked the afternoon away I realized how much I missed Jacob and his easy manner, I'd never found another person I could talk to like him. I also honestly questioned my life in Nevada, my lack of friends and my exquisite loneliness.**

**A chill had come into the air and I noticed the sun setting orange behind the trees when we finally made a move.**

"**I guess we had better get you inside your skin looks like a plucked chicken" Jake laughed as he stood up "not used to this cold and damp anymore are you?" **

**Do you know what Charlie used to call you? Jacob asked smiling**

"**Sun Seeker"**

**He started this after about your 6****th**** move in as many years He told me you were trying to escape the rain.**

"**Can't imagine why" Jacob said sarcastically **

**I refused to acknowledge the real reason I had moved so many times and how on a cloudy rainy day no matter where I was the depression that would always hit me would incapacitate me for days and the hole in my heart would almost drive me insane.**

**It was easier to live when the sun was shining every day.**

**The truth was I unreasonable believed that if I lived somewhere without any rain there would never be a chance of running into **_**Him **_**or any member of **_**His **_**family.**

_**They**_** would never be able to go outside during the day.**

**Of course I still searched everyday, every face… **

**Hoping and hating myself for doing it **

**I knew though that **_**He**_** would never let me see **_**Him **_**again in this life.**

**After all **_**He **_**was easily distracted**

"**I guess I just haven't found my place on this earth yet" I tried to answer.**

**Jake had managed to find the key and get the door open so we finally moved inside. He went in ahead of me and turned the lights on. Then put my duffle bag in the living room and checked to make sure the heat was on. I guess he was trying to make it comfortable but that was impossible.**

'**Do you need anything Bella?" **

"**We could go get some groceries or well you're always welcome to stay with us in La Push if you'd rather not be alone here tonight"**

"**The kids would love to meet you and"**

'**No" I stopped him "That's alright I'll be fine here I'll probably just go to bed, I'm really tired out"**

"**Sure sure just thought I'd ask"**

**We were standing in the kitchen now the cupboards are still yellow I thought crazily and suddenly I became conscious of the fact that I wasn't ready to be alone here.**

'**Do you want a beer or something before you get going? "I'm sure Charlie has a stash around here somewhere". "Or I we could order a pizza"**

**I was searching for a reason for him not to go but couldn't help myself.**

"**No that's alright I've really got to shove off I'm late as it is, Jake hesitated **

"**I could pick you up tomorrow morning and we could all go to the service together"**

"**No you come with your family I've got the rental and that way I can leave when I want" **

"**Are you sure you'll be o.k tonight" Jake questioned**

**He had noticed the slight bitterness in my voice but I wasn't about to ride around with Jacob's wife and kids. I did still have an ounce of respect.**

"**I'll be fine I'm going straight to bed"**

"**And Jake thanks for being here today"I smiled**

"**sure sure" he mubbled as we moved outside into the dark**

**He gave me one more hug and whispered in my ear **

"**It'll be o.k Bella "then he released me**

**I watched him walk away, my best friend**

**He gave the truck horn one quick honk, waved his arm out the winow and was gone.**

**I felt the tears start to flow again as I turned and went inside my fathers house.**


	4. Fall To Pieces 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

**FALL TO PIECES**

**A few hours later I stumbled up the stairs lugging my bag.**

**I had indeed discovered Charlie's 'stash' and was now part way through a bottle of Bacardi.**

**Definitely not my favourite but it had taken the edge off being back in this house without Charlie and my head full of memories.**

**I hoped that with enough Bacardi I might even be able to sleep for a few hours.**

**Not much had changed in the twenty years since I had lived here I realized as I spent two hours wandering aimlessly from room to room through Charlie's house. Opening cupboards and drawers, looking at old fishing magazines and sorting through the mail. **

**I had purposely avoided his bedroom but inspected just about everything else.**

**I wasn't intentionally searching for anything as much as trying to see who my father was. **

**What his day to day life had been like in retirement. **

**My school photos were in a desk drawer finally but my graduation picture was still on display as was my wedding photo and one taken of me after I finished the Las Vegas Marathon. **

**Charlie had been very proud of that.**

**Seeing my wedding picture had been the moment I began searching for 'the stash' in earnest.**

**There were too many memories here and my head was hurting. I missed the non life I'd created for myself in Nevada. The one where I didn't have to think.**

**I entered the bedroom and threw my bag on the floor. **

**Nothing had changed in here either since my hasty departure.**

**It belonged to a girl that had just graduated high school and was running away with a broken heart. **

**I sat in the rocking chair and took my shoes off. My head was spinning a bit when I stood up again and made my way to the ****bathroom I no longer had to share.**

**The sudden jolt of pain brought me to the floor.**

**Waves of pain washed over me as I cradled my stubbed big toe.**

**How can something so little hurt so much? **

**It was barely bleeding and probably not broken yet how could I stub my toe walking across a bare floor? **

**It was then that I noticed the floorboard. One end of it had popped loose and was jutting out.**

**A potential death hazard for someone like me.**

**I slammed my fist down on the board feeling very angry with the floor, like it had bit me. **

**The other end of the board jumped right out of the floor. **

**What the hell?**

**Crawling over to the now unattached board I knelt over, removed it and looked into the hole in my bedroom floor.**

'**It will be as if I never existed" **_**he'd **_**told me**

**Yet it never was and now I had the proof that **_**he **_**had existed. Right beneath my feet all that time.**

**I pulled the three photos out and gasped at the sight of him. **

**My memories did not do him justice. The beauty of that face, my god those topaz eyes. **

_**He **_**stared out at me from the kitchen in one shot and in the next we were standing awkwardly side by side in the living room. **

**Had I really ever been that young and happy? **

**We looked so beautiful together. **

**The last photograph was of Charlie and **_**Him **_**watching T.V and that broke my heart.**

**I was suddenly filled with so much pain and rage that I felt I might catch fire.**

**I ripped those beloved pictures into a million pieces the C.D was next and when I couldn't break it I threw it against the wall and watched the case smash I tried to tear the C.D up with my hands and I stomped on it and I screamed and I cried and I raged. **

**I was furious with everything ; my father for dieing and forcing me to come back here, Jacob for being so nice and finding happiness with someone else, my husband for wanting out of our marriage, myself for becoming such a recluse and wasting my life, my inability to form friendships and the need to move every couple of years, but mostly I HATED **_**HIM**_** for destroying my life and any chance of happiness I might ever have had .**

**Leaving me and thinking I would just forget. **

**How could I ever forget what we had?**

**Time had not healed my wounds like **_**He**_** promised**

**I had just learned to coexist with them.**

**I yelled in utter frustration at the top of my lungs, almost a scream that no one would hear and bowed my head and cried.**

**Sometime later I pulled myself up off the floor**

**Calmly I washed the blood off my hands in the bathroom sink, rinsed the tears from my face and went downstairs. I grabbed an old blanket off Charlie's chair and curled into the fatal position on the couch. The blanket smelled like my father. **

**I closed my eyes**

**That was the first night I dreamed of **_**Edward**_** again.**

**..Let me know what you think guys. I've been lovin Jake but I think Ed will make an appearance soon. Jbug**


	5. The Show Must Go On 4

Sorry I have't updated for a while, I was actually in Alaska. No I didn't see Tanya or any of her coven. I have a couple of chapters ready to go now so stay tuned. Many thanks to BLUEMOONSONGBIRD for my one and only review.. Jbug

CHAPTER 4

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

I awoke in a fog to the sound of the rain pounding down on the roof and tapping against the windows, still aching from the events of the night before.

I didn't know how I was going to make it through this day.

Charlie's funeral was only a few hours away and the heartache I was feeling now was actually radiating through my very bones. The pain in my chest felt like my ribcage was slowly being spit open. It hurt to breathe.

As I slowly stretched and uncurled myself from the couch I heard the rain again, I was going to have to find a jacket to wear today since I no longer owned any rain gear. It was not really necessary in Southern Nevada.

The blood in my head was pounding as I slowly made my way up the stairs and into the bathroom for a shower. I stood in front of the mirror and steadied myself with both hands on either side of the sink. As I raised my head and looked into the dull mirror I realized the last time my reflection had looked back at me from here I had been 19 years old.

Did I recognize myself?

I looked basically the same, I wore the same tortured expression on my face but my eyes were truly dead now showing only sadness and pain so I tried to avoid them.

My face was slightly harder, more angular my cheekbones more prominent and those dead eyes slightly sunken. Since my divorce food had held little enjoyment for me and I rarely remembered to eat anymore, my recent obsession with running had hardened my body and trimmed down my already slight frame. Truthfully I was way to thin.

I did have a few lines as Jacob had pointed out and I didn't think they "looked good on me" at all. My hair was much the same, mousey brown with the odd grey in the ponytail now, a few creases around the eyes, the frown lines.

A constant reminder that I wasn't seventeen anymore and everyday I moved further away from an age Edward would remain forever.

I stood in the shower and let the too hot water pour over me reddening my skin.

Maybe I was imaging I looked older than I really did but I felt positively ancient this morning.

I didn't move until all the hot water was gone.

I had brought a boring black dress with me from home and found it crumpled in the bottom of my bag. As I dressed I tried not to look around the bedroom at last night's catastrophe, I couldn't help however but see the bits of torn photograph strewn about the floor and bed.

Quickly I checked the closet for a suitable jacket trying to get out of the bedroom as fast as possible. Finding nothing but a few old sweatshirts I noticed a couple of boxes on the floor, I pulled one out trying not to get too dusty in the process. Both were labelled "books" but right behind the box was a black garbage bag .For a moment I thought it might contain some old clothes that Charlie had stored here. It was of course not clothes but the stereo from my truck that I had received from Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie for my eighteenth birthday.

The birthday that had changed everything forever.

Would the pain never end? It was almost as if I was being tortured. I tried to block the memories of my frantic efforts to claw the stereo out of my dashboard. My hands had looked as bad then as they did this morning. I slammed the closet door shut and avoiding the hole in the floor stormed out of the bedroom. My black shoes crunched on bits of broken C.D case along the way.

I finally found an old jacket in the front hall closet pushed far to the back. I had worn it in my last year of high school and left it here thinking I would never need a warm rain coat again. Of course it was raining today, it would have to rain for my father's funeral.

It made me sad to think of Charlie keeping it for 20 years in the hopes that one day I'd return and need a sensible jacket.

I stood in the kitchen and drank a glass of water, it was still too early to go to the service but I would go mad if I stayed in this house a moment longer.

As I opened the door into the blowing rain I positioned my sunglasses over my face and tried to pretend it wasn't raining…..

for just a moment.


	6. JUST LIKE BEFORE 5

**I really enjoyed this chapter hope you do too jbug**

**CHAPTER 5**

**JUST LIKE BEFORE**

**Jacob had driven me back to Charlie's. He had rescued me once again from my grief. **

**After the service I had stood alone in front of my father's grave for an indefinite amount of time, soaked to the bone. Just letting the rain pour over me and mix with my tears the driving rain had not eased up on this day.**

**I had managed to remain in a fog throughout the service going through the motions of burying my father and only because I had gotten quite good at shutting myself off had I been able to get through it at all. **

**The ceremony had been well attended and Charlie would have loved to have seen all the faces of his old friends and heard the many stories of his life. There had been a short slideshow put on by the police department who praised his many years of service. **

**I barely spoke and had a hard time even acknowledging the many condolences from concerned friends. Billie and the Quileute community had come. They were planning their own traditional ceremony in a few days on the reserve which of course I would have to attend **

**Mike and Jessica had both hugged me and looked slightly taken aback by my state, they made me promise that we would get together before I left but I had barely noticed them, concentrating on my fog and wrapping my arms tighter around myself.**

**I didn't cry until I was alone with Charlie for the last time, the coffin having been lowered slowly into the ground, the last of the mourners having disappeared. **

**I was truly alone now. My tears flowed freely and blended perfectly with the rain.**

**I had been clutching a red carnation and threw it into the hole in the ground, watching the huge drops of rain bead on the polished wood of the casket then running down the sides.**

**It was at that moment that I realized with a feeling bordering on panic that with Charlie gone I would no longer be receiving weekly updates from Forks. **

**When I returned to my world this town would be gone forever.**

**It was as if everything that had EVER been was dying with Charlie. **

**My childhood, high school, Jacob and his family, La Push and Billie, Mike and the sporting goods store, Jessica, Angela and Ben all the good fishing holes any little bit of gossip or goings on in this town would be gone forever and I dared to think with it any chance of hearing from the Cullen's ever again. **

**When I left here in a few days time this part of my life would cease to exist.**

**Jacob found me a few minutes later, marching up behind me and leading me out of the cemetery. I had barely been able to walk and we had shuffled out in the rain, his arms wrapped protectively around my shoulders. Trying to shield me from the rain with his body. **

**I was too cold to even make an attempt at driving myself home I just let Jake put me in his truck. Leah and their children had gotten a ride back to La Push with Jared and his wife Kim I was informed so "it would be no problem"**

**It must have been hard for Leah to see her husband so concerned about me and as I glanced across the truck at Jacob I noticed the firm line of his mouth and his fingers white gripping the steering wheel, this was hard on him too I thought realizing how long Charlie had been in his life as well.**

**He probably had also realized that our common connection was gone. **

**Without Billie and Charlie fishing together and gossiping he would not hear about me anymore either.**

**I was feeling panicky again as I vowed not to lose touch with Jacob.**

**My teeth were chattering as Jake opened the front door for me and sat me on the couch he had then found some blankets and dry clothes and was now in the kitchen making some coffee. As he sat down next to me on the couch I became aware that we hadn't really spoken today, he had just kept an eye on me and held me up when I needed it. **

**I leaned my head on his muscular shoulder and sighed "I'm so thankful that you were there today Jake I don't deserve a friend like you"**

**He put his arm around me and pulled me in tight "you deserve much more" **

"**you need to give yourself a break" his tone slightly angry**

**Jake turned the T.V on then apparently not wanting to talk anymore and we sat silently neither of us really watching the ridiculous sitcom**

**I had never known Jacob to be so quiet but I guess he was grieving too.**

**I was finally starting to warm up under my blankets and with the heat of Jake next to me, my eyes started to close**

"**I'm not going to lose touch with you" I tried to say "you're like a family ..**

"**all I have left" **

**I knew I wasn't making much sense but it seemed important to get the words out. **

**Jacob turned and moved his face closer to mine. At first I thought he was going to kiss me but instead he positioned his warm cheek against mine **

"**I will always be here for you Bella" "you're not alone"**

**A little while later I woke up, the news was on so I knew I couldn't have been asleep for long, Jake was trying to get out from under me. My head was now resting in his lap so he was struggling to get up and not wake me **

"**I have to get going Bella, Leah will be wondering" he left the sentence open **

"**Do you want some help upstairs or?"**

"**No no I'm pretty happy right here on the couch" I curled onto my side and pulled the blankets up to my chin**

"**well goodnight then" I'll call you tomorrow"**

**He seemed in a hurry to leave as the door closed the quietly behind him and I wondered how long he had been trying to go and how much trouble Leah would give **

**him when he got home.**

**I awoke again hours later. The moon was now out in full and shining directly into my eyes from the living room window. It must have finally stopped raining I assumed. The moon wasn't what had woken me up though I had the strangest feeling that I wasn't alone, like I was being watched.**

"**Jake" I called out feeling quite silly since he had left hours ago**

"**Hello" I was sitting up now. I couldn't quite shake the eerie feeling **

**Stumbling into the kitchen tangled and tripping in my blankets I quickly turned the lights on and looked around the room. Then I heard the floor creak above my head,**

**Someone was in my bedroom**

**Without thinking I grabbed my father's revolver from the cabinet and raced up the stairs. I slowed down at the top turning the hallway lights on and then my bedroom lights**

**I was now feeling slightly insane and paranoid. I didn't even know how to hold a gun let alone use one. **

**The bathroom was **_**clear**_**, hallway **_**clear**_**, bedroom **_**cl**_**… I dropped the gun**

**My bedroom window was wide open**

**I ran to the window and grabbed the wooden frame sticking my head out into the cold night air and peered into the moonlight.**

**My heart was beating very fast as I scanned the shadows **

"**Edward" I screamed "show yourself you spineless jerk" **

"**You have no right to come here"**

"**Just go away and leave me alone" I shouted as I slumped to the floor new tears beginning to burn my already swollen eyes **

"c**ome back! …."**


	7. Pictures Of You6

**CHAPTER SIX**

**PICTURES OF YOU**

**I woke up early, had I really slept at all? For a minute I didn't know where I was. The sun was streaming in the windows and this confused me. **

**For a brief instant I thought I was back in my tiny apartment in Lone Mountain Nevada where it never rained. For that instant Charlie was still alive and I was not being tortured here in Forks by memories of my past. **

**I didn't want that moment to end.**

**I had slept on the couch again refusing to go anywhere near, never mind sleeping in the bedroom. **

**In the glare of this rare Washington sunshine this morning however everything seemed quite normal compared to last night and it seemed ridiculous to have been yelling out the window at ghosts**

**Maybe I had dreamt it or maybe I was just finally losing it.**

**I made myself some coffee and decided to drink it outside; this weather couldn't last much past noon so I had better make the most of it. As I grabbed the local paper from the box I made a mental note to cancel it, Charlie wouldn't be reading it anymore. A wave of sadness washed over me and I quickly pushed it away.**

**It was amazing how little went on in a town the size of Forks and the bake sales, garden section and letters of different complaints to the editor couldn't hold my interest. **

**Towards the back of the paper was an obituary of sorts for my father, it was a full page story about his life in Forks and many years as sheriff with the detachement, his accomplishments, survived by one daughter, and love of fishing.**

**The story also contained two photographs the first a department picture of a much younger Charlie in his uniform and sporting that cheesy moustache I had finally begged him to shave off, his hair had still been mostly brown and he looked really happy.**

**I felt the hot sting of tears come to my eyes for what felt like the millionth time in the last four days. The second picture had been taken at the funeral it was an outside shot in the graveyard and showed the backs of the mourners most standing under umbrellas with the coffin in the background. **

**I tried to pick out who was who from their backs but you couldn't really tell anything from the grainy black and white photograph. **

**I noticed finally in the far right corner of the picture a figure standing by himself under the trees, he was removed from the other mourners and mostly obscured by branches and a large well cut duffle coat and hat. **

**The coat collar was pulled far up and the hat pulled down. An umbrella was also shading any hope of seeing a face but I could have sworn.. No it couldn't be? **

**The way this man was standing: the clutch of the fist on the umbrella, the posture, the shape of the body **

**It looked just like Edward **

**Standing right there in the Forks cemetery for anyone to see **

**In the rain at my fathers funeral.**

**Was he back? Why would he have come here? Wasn't he distracted anymore? **

**I wasn't crazy he had been in my house last night, I had felt him**

**Why wouldn't he talk to me like a normal person? Had he left already? **

**Had my yelling to leave me alone and go away really made him go away?**

**I was filled with an infinite amount of questions and of course no answers.**

**Did I really want to see him again? Could I handle it? How would he look?**

**Maybe that was a dumb question he would look exactly the same of course and I would look thirty-nine I thought dismally.**

**As the caffeine from my coffee really kicked in my line of questioning got more intense and random. My ears were ringing when I finally stood up coming to the realization that I couldn't just sit here anymore I had to do something.**

**I ran inside deciding on the moment to drive to La Push and visit Jacob he would have an answer. As I topped the stairs and entered my bedroom I remembered I didn't have a car, I was going to have to call a taxi first, what a hassle**

**I just wanted to get going. I grabbed my black yoga pants and a sweatshirt out of my bag and was sitting on the bed lacing up my Nikes trying not to look at the window when I saw the picture on my desk.**

**Well at least now I had my answer **

**Edward was back.**

**This was the only logical explanation for the fact that the picture taken of the two of us standing side by side in Charlie's kitchen, the one I had torn to shreds the other night was now back together like a jigsaw puzzle and sitting on my desk. **

**It wasn't quite perfect though my mouth was making an odd sneer through one of the rips and the left side of Edwards face was missing. I guess he hadn't been able to find that piece of this sick puzzle.**

**On my way out to the taxi I dropped a large black garbage bag into the bin on the curb. I didn't take a second look as I calmly replaced the lid back on the garbage can. Now containing a very mangled and outdated car stereo, several torn photographs, a shredded newspaper and one bloody fragmented C.D. **


	8. Stupid hyper remix 7

**As always Stephanie Meyer owns everything preticularly in this chapter where I quote her directly.**

**forevaluvinedward thanks for the reviews this chapter is for you**

**Jbug**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**STUPID (HYPER REMIX)**

**I was finally on my way to La Push; The fifteen mile drive wasn't go to be long enough today though because I was really enjoying being behind the wheel of my crappy little Toyota rental with the wind and sun in my face,**

**The dense green forest all around me.**

**I had techno music blasting a continuous beat from the radio.**

**Dance music was about all I listened to now; it was great for running with on my **

**I-pod and generally didn't have any annoying love songs attached to it. **

**I also tended to drive pretty fast compared to when I was in high school and had accumulated my share of speeding tickets over the years**

**At first my irresponsible, dangerous driving had just been a way to hear Edwards voice again. Warning me to slow down in that calm yet frantic way he had.**

**Over time however his voice had progressively faded and my driving had gotten better. **

**I couldn't even remember what it sounded like anymore, his sweet singing was gone.**

**It had been replaced with an understanding for the Cullen's need for speed**

**It was freeing and just felt good.**

**Getting the taxi earlier today had been fine but sitting in the car and talking to Ned one of my fathers friends about what a great guy Charlie was and what a shame it was, had not been fine. I didn't want to think about my dad today and had leaped out of the cab at the funeral home.**

**Edward was back and consuming all my thoughts. I had to figure out why he had returned.**

**I was about five miles from La Push when I realized I didn't really know where Jacob and Leah lived, I wasn't even sure if he would be home. **

**I hoped Leah wasn't home.**

**I supposed if no one was home I could always visit Billie and go for a walk on First Beach. It would be beautiful today.**

**As I inched closer to La push I started thinking about the last time I had seen Edward, the things he had said to me. I never allowed myself to think about that time but today it seemed like it might be O.K I was so raw and hurting anyways that it couldn't make a difference.**

**I felt like the reason he was back might lay in our last conversation if I could just remember it correctly. He had made me promise him something…**

"_**I would like to ask one favour though, if that's not too much' he said**_

"_**Anything" I had responded**_

'_**Don't do anything reckless or stupid" he had ordered me **_

"_**I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself for him"**_

_**I had nodded 'I will"**_

**And then he had made me a promise in return**

"_**I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back.**_

_**I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me"**_

**It still hurt my very soul to think about that day. I remembered the promise I had made to him though. To not do anything reckless, like kill myself. **

**Which in all honesty I had thought about from time to time over the years but of course there was always Charlie. And now with Charlie gone**

**I could be as reckless as I wanted. **

**That was it, the reason why Edward had returned.**

**He had returned to make sure I wasn't too reckless. Although I just couldn't imagine that he still cared.**

**He had told me he **_**didn't want me **_**and **_**loved me in a way **_

**In what way? Were we going to be friends now?**

**After all, what was a year with a silly human like me when you had forever?**

**I'm sure he never even thought of me anymore, maybe he had just been curious or more likely he had made some honourable promise to himself to watch over the humans he had touched during their lives.**

**This whole line of thinking was making me really angry and uncomfortable so I was glad to see Billie's house approaching in the distance.**


	9. Ghost Dance 8

**Thanks for the reviews it really makes me want to write things a little faster but as I'm new to this I keep checking and rechecking things. Let me know what you think. The next few chapters are longer, this part just seemed to sit better on it's own. Jbug**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**GHOST DANCE**

**Billy Black's house looked exactly the same as I remembered it except at some point over the years someone had given it a new coat of red paint. My tires crunched in the gravel as I pulled off the road and into the driveway. I noticed the huge pile of firewood covered in blue tarp stacked beside the barnish looking house.**

**More than enough wood for the coming winter.**

**Nowadays Billy was an honoured elder and had these jobs done for him by different members of the Quileute community.**

**As I got out of the car I saw him sitting in his chair on the front porch, a smile on his aged face. His long loose white hair was now in deep contrast to his bronze skin but the all knowing black eyes were the same.**

"**What brings you out here Bella girl?"**

"**Hey Billy I was on my way to see Jake but I don't know where he lives anymore" I smiled self conscious at this admission.**

"**Oh he and Leah have a place about three blocks over. Leah's at work today but Jake and the kids are probably home, fooling around in that garage of his"**

"**Why don't you come on up and we'll have a chat before you head over"**

**We sat on the porch in the sunshine and drank our tea out of chipped mugs, dunking the oatmeal cookies into the strong brew as we talked.**

**It was the most relaxed I had felt in days and I was so glad I had come.**

"**Sure was a good turnout for Charlie Yesterday"**

**I didn't really have an answer to this so I simply nodded**

"**And fishing just won't be the same anymore without him"**

"**I may give it up altogether" He added thoughtfully**

"**You know Bella your father had a good death, we should all be so lucky dieing doing what we love"**

**Again I nodded "Yes he loved his fishing"**

**What we failed to talk about was how it had taken two days to find Charlie, face down in the Quillayute River.I tried to tell myself that he'd finally hooked that great big elusive fish he was always searching for when it happened.**

**Another car drove slowly past and honked breaking up our conversation. I had noticed that every single car that drove by either honked or waved at Billy.**

"**Well Billy thanks for the tea" I stood**

"**Don't you be a stranger Bella and make sure you're here for the ceremony this weekend, there's a lot of people coming for the bonfires up on the bluffs"**

"**Your father was a well respected man and we should see him out that way"**

"**Sure, sure Billy I'll see you then"**

**Moments later I pulled up to what I hoped were Jake and Leah's house.**

**A beautiful young girl of about six years old was playing with a small black puppy in the grass. She instantly bounded unabashedly towards my car. **

**As I got out she smiled**

**The most amazing grin that I had only ever seen on one face before.**

**I knew that I had found the right house.**

"**Who are you?" she asked curiously**

"**I'm Bella and you must be Lucy"**

"**Yup, are you here to see my dad? He's in the garage with my brother I'll show you where it is "**

**And with that she took my hand in her tiny one and led me towards the garage**

**I laughed aloud; she was just like Jacob full of big grins, endless energy and easy fun.**


	10. Echo Beach 9

**Just a short note of thanks to everyone reading this story.And thanks for the reviews and alerts although I would love more reviews so I know what you all are thinking!**

**I have completely reworked Chapter One (Surfacing) and I think it explains Bella new life a little better now. So go back and let me know what you think about the changes**

**Jbug**

**CHAPTER NINE**

**ECHO BEACH**

**The four of us made our way to down the narrow path to the beach, Cooper the puppy bounding along happily behind us**

**It was the easiest place to talk and entertain the kids at the same time.**

**Jake was carrying his son William or Will as he was known, He, was eighteen months old and named after his grandfather whom he also resembled in that strange inheritable factor of DNA**

**We sat down on a huge sun bleached log side by side and watched the kids play with different coloured stones and bits of driftwood in front of us.**

**I couldn't help myself but to think to that all of this could have been mine should have been mine.**

**If hadn't left Forks, if I hadn't rebuffed Jacob, if I hadn't been so damaged this would be my family, my husband, my happiness. **

**It was hard not to hate Edward Cullen in a moment like this.**

**As Jake put his arm around me in what would have been a half hug had he removed it again I wondered if he was thinking along the same lines.**

**He stood up a moment later and broke the spell. With his back to me he picked up a stone and skipped it across the sparkling blue water**

"**What happened between you and Mark?"**

"**Oh Jake come on" I was surprised by his question and embarrassed. **

"**Do we really need to go there?"**

"**Well I am morbidly curious and as a friend I think you should tell me all the gory details"**

**He was teasing now helping me to talk about the divorce**

**When I hadn't answered a minute later he turned around to look at me, his face seemed hurt, angry I couldn't decide which**

"**I really want to know, I thought you guys were happy?**

**The last I heard you were even trying for a baby"**

"**Trying is the appropriate word" I started**

"**As it turns out I can't have children… at least not with Mark" **

**Jacob looked stunned and now also uncomfortable by this personal admission**

"**Oh it wouldn't have mattered even if I had gotten pregnant we would have separated eventually" I concluded "**

**Mark wanted more from me than I was capable of giving him **

**I tried, though I tried really hard to make the marriage work.**

**In the beginning I thought it was what I wanted.**

**I thought getting married and being a mother would, I don't know? Fix me, make me normal.**

**So I tried, but that's the problem isn't it? When you have to try.**

**The more I had to try the harder it got and then when we found out we couldn't have children there didn't seem to be any reasons left to stay together.**

**We both quit trying.**

**Mark's a not a bad man, he's since moved on, married again, has a son now a dog a nice house so it all worked out" I hoped my voice didn't sound bitter**

"**What about you though Bella, what about your happiness? Jacob asked**

**Don't you want to find someone, fall in love?"**

"**I'm better off alone, I've come to realize I'm not good for anyone the way I am**

**I am broken Jacob" I met his eyes with my last statement.**

"**And you Jake are you truly happy? I queried**

**If this was going to be a day of truths then it was my turn now.**

"**Is anybody really happy Bella?"**

**He seemed to understand immediately this was not a day for half truths and cleared his throght before he continued**

"**Don't get me wrong I love my kids and I have a good life with Leah,**

**It's just not quite what I would have chosen for myself"**

"**Your marriage is O.K though" I was confused "I mean you do love Leah?"**

"**Leah and I are comfortable and we have built a good life together but she never really got over Sam you know and well" he paused **

"**I never really got over you Bella"**

**Jake swallowed before he continued "So it works for us.**

**I guess you could say we have an understanding"**

"**Whew I could use a beer Jake said chuckling to break the tension as he sat down beside me again**

"**Me too" **

**I curled up onto his shoulder and closed my eyes.**

**The rays of the sun warming my face.**


	11. Come To My Window 10

**Many thanks mommys-little-nightmare for the reviews. Team Edward you're going to love tomorrows chapter...Jbug **

**CHAPTER NINE**

**COME TO MY WINDOW**

**It was late by the time I got home; I had stayed at Jake's for dinner, both of us pretending we were a family longer than we should have.**

**Over dinner I had casually mentioned that I thought Edward was back in town**

**Jacob had almost chocked on his burger, his face taking on an incredulous expression as he gulped down some water**

"**Really? Have you seen him?" **

**I had decided hours ago not to go into any details with my theory and only mentioned my ridiculous idea about the newspaper article and the man in the photograph at the graveyard. **

'**I'm probably just being crazy"**

**Jake laughed "you've always been a little eccentric Bella, that's what I like about you" he was close to hysterics now**

"**It's probably just one of Charlie's friends from the department, or maybe it's the KGB?"**

**He was doubled over now howling at his own joke **

"**Sure sure" I tried to laugh it off using one of Jacob's favourite expressions.**

**It was twilight when I finally left La Push which was ironic considering what I had planned for tonight. **

**Twilight, Edwards's favourite time of day **

**As I drove along the twisting road back to Forks I remembered what Edward had told me many years ago?**

**He had explained to me that twilight was the safest and easiest time of day for vampires but he'd added also the saddest since it was the end of another day and the return of night.**

**I wondered if he would return this night.**

**I had decided during my drive home that if Edward was indeed coming to my house and snooping around my bedroom then I was going to stay awake this evening and confront him on it **

**I would pretend to be asleep and catch him.**

**That boy had some explaining to do.**

**I made a quick stop at the gas station and picked up some red bull. **

**And was now standing in the kitchen gulping it directly out of the blue and silver tin.**

**This was going to be a long night and I needed to be alert.**

**For as sick as it was and as much as I was sure I would regret it later I actually felt excited at the prospect of encountering Edward after all this time.**


	12. Come Undone 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**COME UNDONE**

**I had gone about a usual night time routine since getting home from La Push;**

**Watched a bit of T.V, had a shower, brushed my teeth then I'd gotten into bed and tried to read a few pages of Stephanie Meyers new book before turning out the bedside light.**

**And now I waited.**

**I had tried to make things look as normal as possible in case **_**anyone**_** was watching the house or if maybe **_**someone**_** with super sensitive hearing was listening.**

**It was really hard to lie still in the bed after drinking two tins of red bull and I could feel my heart thumping madly in my chest as my legs twitched and I clenched and unclenched my fists.**

**The super caffeinated beverages might have been a bad idea.**

**And now I was just staring at the shadows on the walls, my mind jumping from one random though to another. **

**I had so many questions and I was so angry that I hoped I could get everything out just right. I was also worried because I wasn't eighteen anymore. **

**What would Edward make of the new middle aged Bella? I guess it didn't really matter after this night I would never see him again, maybe I could get some form of closure if nothing else from tonight and finally move on.**

**In the end after all my planning and waiting I didn't even hear him come in the open window I just suddenly knew he was there, I could feel him, sense that he was in the same room as me**

"**Edward" **

"**Edward"**

"**Edward" "oh come on I know that your there I can feel you, I can see you standing beside my rocking chair" I couldn't really see him but I thought that's where he might be.**

**A full minute passed and it was making me annoyed**

"**Edward talks to me or go away"**

"**Why are you doing this to me, why are you here?"**

**And then he spoke "I'm here Bella"**

**It was like angels singing, how could I ever have forgotten the sound of his voice?**

**He was real and he was here and we were going to talk.**

**I sat up in the bed and pulled my knees to my chest, encircling them with my hands, trying to see his beautiful face as he spoke.**

"**I've been trying to stay away, **

**Each night I come here I tell myself it will be the last and I will stare at you long enough for your image to last with me through forever, but it is NEVER ENOUGH"**

**He spat out the last words in frustration and continued in his velvet voice "I find myself back here praying that you will still be here and hating myself more with each passing moment"**

**I still couldn't see his face but I could make out the silhouette of his body against the wall, he was wearing a large jacket with a fur lined hood pulled low over his head, his face turned to the floor.**

"**Come closer so I can see you"**

"**No it will be healthier for you if I stay here" **

"**But I want to see your face"**

"**Not tonight"**

**I had forgotten how my smell affected Edward and after so much time of course it would be hard for him to be near me but he could at least lose the hood.**

"**So ahh how have you been?" I felt ridiculous asking this and was trying to keep things light but it wasn't going to work, I didn't know what to say and he wasn't helping**

"**Why are you here Edward" I tried again**

"**I wanted to make sure you were alright" he paused "needed to'**

"**Why" I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me**

"**I'm just fine. Thank you for checking; now you can go back to your life with a clear conscience"**

"**Why after all this time do you even care how I am?"**

"**I will always care Bella"**

"**Where is your husband?" He asked suddenly "Why isn't he here to help you through this?"**

**I was so stunned by this question and the turn of the conversation that I actually felt dizzy for a second. How did he know about Mark?**

"**If you must know Edward we divorced five years ago.**

**He seemed surprised by this but maintained his poise**

"**I'm sorry to hear that, you deserve to be happy"**

"**Yes I deserved a lot of things" **

"**What about you Edward are you married? Any kids?"**

**My voice was like acid how dare he ask or even know about my personal life.**

**He made a funny humph sound like he wanted to laugh at what wasn't really a joke before he decided to continue our conversation in a weird long lost friend's sort of chat.**

"**After Alice informed me that you had married I moved to Alaska" **

**He seemed self conscious now**

"**I lived with Tanya and her coven for five years" "I wanted to feel something again, but it wasn't the same, I couldn't capture what we had"**

**I was bewildered "You live in Alaska?" **

"**No I live in Canada now" **

"**what happened with Tanya? I couldn't help but ask**

"**It was not a good match" was all he said like he was describing a dining room set not a relationship.**

"**So you broke it off"**

"**Something like that" was his only reply it was obviously not something he wanted to discuss further.**

**We were both silent then digesting our conversation**

"**what are your plans now Bella?'**

"**I'm going to sell this house and all its memories and go back to my life "**

**Where is your life now?"**

"**I live in Nevada"**

**Edward chuckled "it doesn't rain much there does it"**

"**No I've had enough rain for this lifetime"**

"**When did you become so bitter?"**

"**Oh Christ Edward do you really think that it's been easy? Do you really think I just forgot about you and moved on with my life? **

"**I know I'm human but my memory is not a sieve," **

**I have spent twenty years trying to stop thinking about you, trying to fix the hole in my heart.**

**I am unable to form friendships or maintain relationships and I search for your face in every person I meet, time has not healed my wounds"**

"**I did what was for the best" He stopped my tirade his voice panicked**

"**For who Edward? Definitely not for me**

"**I'm so sorry I thought I was helping you to have a normal and safe life"**

"**It's a bit late for sorry isn't it" I grimaced "look you had better go I thought that I could do this, talk to you like we were a normal couple but we were never a normal couple were we?" **

"**Just go"**

"**Leave me alone to continue my useless existence in peace" I could feel the hot tears coming**

**Edward seemed shaken **

"**Will you at least make me a promise before I go Bella" he pleaded**

"**NO" I screamed "I will not make you anymore damn promises. I don't owe you anything and you cannot twist me around your finger anymore. You gave up all rights to me when you left me to live my life without you.**

**Well I have tried and I have failed on all accounts"**

"**Just go Edward" I was sobbing now my whole body shaking**

"**Bella I am so sorry, I never knew"**

"**I won't bother you again"**

**When I was finally finished crying and able to open my eyes he was gone of course.**

**I looked out the window into the cloudy, moonless night and saw absolutely nothing.**

**It was then that I realized I had never seen his face.**

.


	13. One Last Run 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**ONE LAST RUN**

A week passed and Edward kept his word, he did not bother me again.

Initially in my anger and grief I had planned on selling Charlie's house immediately and returning to my protected life in Nevada. But as the days passed slowly here in Forks I came into a sort of peace with my life. I felt better, lighter than I had in years and now had no immediate plans.

I knew that eventually I would have regretted selling this house and besides I might want to return here one day and it would be nice to have a place in the world to come home to.

So I had instead spent most of my week cleaning and organizing what was slowly becoming 'my house'. Three days ago I had made the most amazing discovery

Buried in the garage under an old stained sheet and years of dust and cobwebs I had found "the beast" my old red Chevy truck I could only assume that Charlie had been unable to part with the greatest physical reminder he had of our time living together and so it had sat idle for nearly twenty years in the corner of the garage.

I had pulled the sheet off in portions, my smile getting bigger with each rusty piece that was revealed. It was so corroded now that it seemed impossible that it was even solid and not just a great pile of red dust.

The door had groaned alarmingly as I tried to open it and the springs poked out of the faded upholstery of the front seat but as I put my hands on the steering wheel

I beamed.

Jacob had been almost as thrilled as I was when moments later I had excitedly phoned exclaiming that "we just had to restore it"

He was also partly responsible for my new outlook. We had spent the last two days almost exclusively together restoring the beast and we had both agreed it felt like we were teenagers again the only difference being his two children running around underfoot and the cold beer we now drank instead of warm soda.

Today Jake was at his real job and I was feeling a bit lost. The sun was making another rare appearance though and it seemed like the perfect time to go for a run.

I had started running while I was still married, my husband Mark had tried unsuccessfully for about a year to get me to join him on one of his early morning jogs but I had always refused due to my basic lack of athletic ability and poor coordination.

Recently Mark and I had drifted so far apart that I had finally conceded thinking a common interest might bring us closer together or at least give us something to talk about. So one morning I had donned my ugliest sweats, laced up my new running shoes and joined him. He had promised to go slowly and we had at first but then something astonishing happened I fell in love with running, the rhythmic sound of my breathing the sound of my feet striking the pavement and unbelievably I was good at it. Pretty soon I was running all the time, farther and faster than Mark. I started entering ten kilometre races then training for marathons, and the thing that was meant to bring us together ultimately tore us apart.

After the divorce my running became an obsession and I spent endless punishing hours on the road promising myself "just one more mile"

I eased my foot off the gas and pulled the Toyota over into the small gravel parking lot. I had come to a place Charlie had told me about a few years ago. He had told me of a new trail that was being built to accommodate the growing mountain biking population in Washington and subsequent tourism this would bring into Forks. There had been some protest over the minimal logging into a protected area to make the park and subsequent bike path but in the end the trail had been built, tourism dollars crushing the environment once again

"it would also make a nice place for you to jog" Charlie had said acknowledging my passion for running" if you ever come back for a visit" he had added subtly

What I hadn't realized at the time was that this trail led directly to our meadow.

I was slightly nervous about being here again 'in our place' but after the things I had yelled at Edward the other night I was certain that I would never see him again.

He was gone again from my life, gone forever this time

Maybe I thought as I almost tipped over a fallen branch this was why I was feeling so much healthier. No more looking over my shoulder, or examining faces for pale familiarity in crowds, no more avoiding the rain, or the dark of night.

He was really gone this time and I felt….relief

.


	14. Afterglow 13

**All recognizable characters and settings are the property of S.M. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Hope everyone enjoys this, please let me know what you think ...Jbug**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**AFTERGLOW**

I was sitting on a park bench that had been placed in "Meadow Park" having just completed my five mile run. My feet were up on the bench and my knees pulled into my chest.

It seemed strange to me that this very intimate place was now a park although for the moment I was the only one here.

This place had changed my life in many ways and had been the beginning of the end of everything, I thought as I tilted my head back, enjoying the last rays of sun hitting my face.

I closed my eyes recalling the first time I had come here.

I remembered it all clearly even though I rarely allowed myself the pleasure of thinking of that day.

My embarrassing hike through the woods had eventually brought us to this magical place.

And I had been excited, waiting for Edward to reveal himself to me in the sunshine.

That sight of Edward had been shocking, his skin had sparkled like thousands of tiny diamonds and he had been so beautiful I remembered like a mirage.

As I closed my eyes I saw it all so clearly;

The way his cool skin had felt under my hand as I had traced the contours of his forearm, his perfect muscles in his bare chest reflecting the sun as he lazed in the grass, the way his topaz eyes had looked right into my soul as we declared our love, reciting the words to each other.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb" he had murmured

"What a stupid lamb"

"What a sick masochistic lion"

Yes I was an idiot

We had spoken of many things that day and I also recalled that he had tried unsuccessfully to scare me away, had given me a hint, a suggestion of what was to come.

"I should have left long ago" he had sighed "I should leave now but I don't know if I can"

"I don't want you to leave" I was so pathetic back then, I should have let him go.

He had also told me that I was the most important thing to him, the most important thing ever.

Had he been lying to me?

No I didn't think so. In some way I believed he had really loved me on that enchanting day.

The last image I would allow myself this afternoon was of his faultless face.

The way it had felt as I had caressed his cheek, his perfect nose, and lastly his flawless lips.

He had carried me home pressed against his back.

The wind rushing past my face as we made the terrifying five mile journey in mere moments.

When we had finally stopped he had kissed me until I almost fainted

"There is something I want to try" and with that he had taken my face in his hands.

Our first kiss!

The feel of those cold marble lips pressing against mine and the sweet intoxicating perfume of his breathe could still make me blush.

I was just starting to doze off, embraced by the sun and my memories when something flashed across my face

A glint, like a mirror reflecting sunlight

My eyes slammed open and I saw him.


	15. Set Me Free 14

**I hope you enjoy my meadow scene. **

**It seems that I never really got over MY hurt when Edward left Bella in N.M**** So now**** he must pay the ultimate price, ****(****the writers price) for making me depressed for weeks... Sorry Edward! Jbug**

**CHAPTER FORTEEN**

**SET ME FREE**

I was just starting to doze off, embraced by the warmth of the sun and my memories when something flashed into my face, a glint, like a mirror reflecting sunlight.

My eyes slammed open and I saw him.

He was entering from the edge of the trail into the open field of our meadow.

He moved slowly and gracefully, seemingly gliding, as he walked towards me.

The suns rays glistening, bouncing off his hands and the lower part of his face, the only visible part showing beneath the giant hood he was wearing.

It was pulled so low in fact that it covered all of his head and most of his face.

I assumed this was because of today's sun and the possibility of being seen.

As he got closer I smiled despite myself, my cheeks burning red as a perfect blush spread across them.

Thank goodness he couldn't hear any of my thoughts and would have no idea of my daydream

"What are you doing here Edward?" I asked him straightening up

"I thought you were leaving?"

He stood directly in front of me as he spoke but faced to the side so I could only see one side of his perfect face

"I wanted to talk to you about something of great importance" he hummed in his velvet voice, "and I knew that you would come here eventually"

"It was just a matter of time, which I have plenty of" he added "so I just had to patient and wait"

He was looking off into the darkened woods now apparently lost in thought.

I was uncertain if he meant today, this week, or in my lifetime?

How many days would he have come here?

When I didn't answer he sat down beside me, sighing

'How long will you remain in Forks Bella? He finally questioned

"I'm not really sure anymore, I've decided not to sell the house"

Why was I telling him this? He had no right to know anything about me.

"What are your plans then?" he gently probed, seeming a little sad, but I couldn't answer any more of his questions.

"I don't have any answers yet, Edward, why are you here?"

"As I mentioned, I have some things I'd like to talk to you about if you are feeling better today"

Hmmm this was interesting

"I thought you would have gone back to your family in Canada after the other night"

I paused

"How are Alice and the rest of your family?"

He seemed pained by this question and turned his head towards the ground

"I haven't seen anyone from my family in many years,

It is better that I am on my own now"

None of this made any sense to me. How could he have lost touch with his entire family? What had happened?

"Where are they?" I couldn't help but ask

"I guess you would say the Cullen Coven has disbanded.

Rosalie and Emmett left first, they are somewhere in Europe now. Alice and Jasper remain in America but I have not spoken to them in many years"

He paused and his voice changed, got softer as he mentioned his adoptive parents.

"Carlisle was still practicing medicine here in the Northwest last I heard but I no longer know where he and Esme are"

"I am alone now, a Nomad. It is better this way" he reiterated

I was crushed by this news but knew exactly what he meant

"I know the feeling Edward I'm also better on my own"

He turned his head slightly towards me "this brings me to my point Bella"

"I hadn't realized what your life had become and it seems now that it is very similar to my own" He was suddenly talking very fast, was he nervous?

"I have put a great amount of thought into this and my words may not come out correctly but the only logical solution it would seem would be for us to be together".

"This I think would end our suffering" he paused again, clearing his throat

"I have never stopped loving you Bella"

All of the air had suddenly left my lungs and a cold sweat now encased my body.

Had he really just suggested that we….we get back together?

"Look at us I finally screeched" my mouth tasting like dry paste

"You're seventeen for Christ's sake, a teenager.

And I am thirty-nine years old" I emphasized this number

"You still look beautiful to me" was his only reply

'I am old enough be your mother Edward"

"We could find a way" he was pleading now I realised

"No we really couldn't" I shock my head disbelievingly

"Our time has passed"

During this entire sick conversation Edward had never once faced me, never let me see his caramel eyes. He had simply stared at the ground.

Now he finally turned to look at me, pleading with his…..

"Oh my god Edward "I gasped as he finally removed the hood from his face and turned to show me the truth

"Oh my god" was all I seemed to be able to say, his beautiful face was gone

His hair was almost entirely white now and a jagged white scar ran down the left side of his forehead and across one eye, it continued across his beautiful stone cheek and disappeared behind his left ear. The scar was raised and ugly.

His wondrous topaz eye was also damaged and remained milky and unfocused as he looked into my face.

All of his being seemed slower, older, ancient, even though I knew this was impossible.

"I'm sorry do I scare you?" he turned and tried to cover his face with his hands.

"Na, nah, No, it's just a shock"

It seemed unimaginable to me that anything could hurt him like this and I was trying really hard now to maintain control

"What creature could do this to you?"

"You explained to me the other night how much you have hurt since I left, well I have also ached Bella"

"Being without you was hell, like living in hell"

"I gave up caring long ago about what happened to me and have suffered for my carelessness but even these scars are not punishment enough for what I have done to you.

"Please Bella let me put things right again" he smiled now looking deep into my eyes

He was trying to 'dazzle' me I could feel it.

He must be desperate I thought using his powers of persuasion this way.

I was filled once again with an uncontrollable anger.

Did he really think it would be that easy? That I was that easy

"Jesus Edward" my voice strained

"For twenty years not a day has gone by that I have not thought about you, cried over you.

Can't you see that you have ruined my life?

And by the looks of it you have ruined yours as well" I added harshly

He visibly flinched away from me, away from my cruel words, his face now in his hands.

"You left me to protect me, to save me and you have destroyed us both in the process"

I spat out these words now shaking with fury.

"Just leave Edward, go back to not existing.

I've learned to live with the pain but I haven't got enough strength left to deal with a new pain"

The tears were now starting to flow and my anger had abated, replaced by infinite sorrow.

I rose quickly to my feet;

I had to get away from here,

I had to escape the pain that is Edward.

I raced out of the meadow but could barely see the trail for the tears flowing down my cheeks; I slowed, turned for one last look at the love of my life.

A love that was more a curse than true love

Edward was on his knees, his hands outstretched to the sky, head thrown back.

And then I heard the sound.

It did not even sound human it was the sound of a tortured monster, an agonised beast.

A roar of pain filled the air and the sky, echoing off the trees and surrounding hills, scaring every living creature within earshot.

I continued running and felt my heart break all over again

Edward had become the monster he so despised.


	16. Who Wants To Live Forever Part 1

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER? (PART ONE)**

_First of all I want to thank everyone for their reviews!_

_I know I was awfully hard on Edward in the last chapter but believe me it was as hard to write as I think it was to read, so thank you_

_I will be posting this chapter in two parts just so that I can warn you that _

_This will be (the first part) of the last chapter._

_I do however have an idea for a new story, well actually the same story but from Edward's POV_

_Let me know what you think_

_Thanks again _

_J bug_

It took me a long, long time to get back to the car.

My crying had not eased at all after leaving the meadow and this had made running impossible. Instead I had stumbled blindly through the darkening woods tripping over rocks and branches.

I ended up walking most of the way, my arms across my chest, clutching my shoulder blades in a futile attempt at squeezing the pieces of myself back together, the sobs flowing endlessly over my dry throat.

At one point I had even turned around and made a feeble attempt to go back to him, the vision of Edward on his knees, pleading in agony filling my head, but it had been too dark and I had fallen yet again.

In that instant I had been reminded of the last time I had crawled through the woods after Edward, nearly twenty years before.

Wishing that I could have died right there in the wet bracken as his cold words rang in my ears,

He doesn't want me to come with him, he doesn't ….want…. me!

The guilt that I had previously been feeling over Edward's pain vanished in that instant of recollection, and was replaced by a more familiar pain of betrayal.

Only then had I been able to find the strength to rise slowly to my feet, turn around and jog inch by inch back to my waiting car.

When I had finally pulled into Charlie's driveway it felt like I'd been gone for days, not hours, so much had changed since this morning and my earlier sense of peace had completely disappeared.

I entered the living room and collapsed into Charlie's favourite chair, my entire body shaking, exhaustion and shock hitting me like a sledgehammer.

I thought briefly of phoning Jacob but what could I really have told him?

"My ex-vampire, boyfriend who is still 17 and now quite disfigured is back in town and wants us to get back together, yeah I know I'm old enough to be his mother now, but he seems really convinced that we could make it work"

I mean honestly.

Anyways Jake had his own set of problems to deal with.

The hot shower had helped to cure my shakes but not the visions in my head.

The roar of Edward's yell still rang in my ears, his scared face burned into my brain.

I knew that memory was going to give me nightmares for a long time and I didn't relish ever trying to sleep again.

.

I was now sitting on my bed, pyjamas rolled up to my knees, as I applied Polysporin to the numerous stinging scrapes covering my hands and knees.

My palms had suffered the worst I determined but my right knee was hurting too,

And was somewhat swollen, an interesting shade of blue.

As I rolled my pyjama bottoms up to inspect my leg closer I heard a distinct tap coming from the outside of the bedroom window.

I sat up just as the window slid open

"Bella"

The cold night air entered the room along with his silky voice

Why did just hearing Edward say my name make it so difficult to breathe?

"Bella I'm sorry to disturb you but can I come in? I promise this will be my last visit"

After everything that had happened Edward was still being the perfect gentleman and waiting for me to invite him inside.

"You know Edward you could use the front door occasionally, we are both adults now"

I watched as he turned to go implausibly to the front door

"Come in Edward" I couldn't even begin to wonder why he was here again and my resolve was now completely gone, I simply had no strength left to fight him.

"Just come in" I sighed defeated


	17. Who Wants To Live Forever? Part 2

_This is the final chapter and I hope you enjoy it!_

_A big thanks to everyone who stuck with me throughout this story, and it's shaky first few chapters. My writing is improving (so I'm told)_

_And thank you for reviewing!_

_As some of you know, over the last little while I have been putting this story together again from Edward's POV and I think that it would make for an interesting read, _

_So please let me know what you think_

_J bug_

_Special thanks to: forevalovinedward, mommyslittlenightmare, pricel, kolored, lilrosebud, blkdahlia01 ,pollygirl, starheartsswirly, kitimaster, and the many other reviewers. I appreciate your input__J_

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER? (PART TWO)**

"Come in Edward"

I couldn't even begin to wonder why he was here again and my resolve was now completely gone, I simply had no strength left to fight him

"Just come in" I sighed defeated.

Without a moments hesitation he elegantly entered through the now open window and stood facing me.

I noticed that the hoodie was back, covering his destroyed face.

"I'm sorry to disturb you but I promise this will be my last visit" He hesitated for a moment "I just need to ask you one last favour before I leave here forever"

"Of course you do" I laughed caustically

"There's always ONE LAST FAVOR before you break my heart Edward, and when have I ever denied you anything?"

I realized he was probably going to have some request for me to stay safe, with Charlie out of the picture now, or ask me to find someone and get married again.

Anything to help me forget about him and take away his own quilt.

Instead he surprised me with his appeal, I'm sure my mouth must have hit the floor.

Without a sound he sat down in my mothers rocking chair and slowly removed his hood before asking,

"Bella will you hold me?"

He stared right into my eyes with his one still beautiful topaz eye as he asked and then continued in a tirade of anguish and emotion.

I just need to feel something Bella, something real.

I need to feel your heartbeat, your warmth against me, for just a moment,

Your arms around me one last time" he pleaded,

I've been alone for so long now, I just need to feel human for a moment.

I need something that I can take away with me tonight that will last until the end of eternity

"Please Bella; if you ever loved me grant me this last request"

"I won't ask you for another thing as long as you live"

The last of my pain seemed to fade away while Edward spoke and I realized that I wanted to feel him as well, to feel something like love again.

I wanted to take away our pain if only for a moment.

Oh yes I would pay for it later, I would pay a high cost with the remainder of my broken heart but maybe just maybe he was right.

Maybe this night would be enough to last us both forever.

"Come here" I said softly, extending my hand towards where he was sitting as I shuffled over on the narrow bed

He exhaled a sigh of relief and stood like a weary old man before making his way to the bed

I realized how broken he was, probably even worse off than me

I had told Jacob that I was broken but I now understood that we were both broken.

Shattered from the moment we had met each other.

The bed didn't make a sound as he lay down beside me and my heart ached at witnessing him like this

He lay with his back to me, facing out the open window with his knees pulled up into the fetal position.

I gently moved over to him and wrapped my arms around his cold hard body.

Squeezing one arm underneath his neck and head I placed the other over his chest, pulling him closer to my own.

Slowly I searched for his hand running my fingertips down the entire length of his shoulder and arm until he caught it, opening his hand he interlaced his fingers with my own, and then pulled my hand into his chest.

Another sigh escaped his lips as I melted into him

"Thank you Bella"

"Your welcome Edward, I want this as well

For a time neither of us spoke we just lay together tempting the fates

I listened to him breathe and gently stroked his hair, I imagine that he listened to my beating heart while he massaged my hand with his thumb.

It was as if I had been underwater and finally surfaced after twenty years.

I could breathe again, the pain in my chest finally receding like the outgoing tide

And how wrong had I been. I was never going to be able to let this go, it felt too good,

He was like a drug to me or at the very least the antidote

After a time I heard his velvet voice again

"I had almost completely forgotten what it feels like to be human" he purred

"I've only ever felt not alone and well...normal when I was with you Bella,

In my entire vampire existence this is the only time that I have not felt like the monster that I am.

I heard him inhale sharply

"I love you Bella, I will love you eternally"

"I love you too Edward, I always have"

Sometime later, it might have been hours or minutes, I shifted slightly trying to get the tingling sensation in my arm to stop, time may have ceased to have any meaning but my arm had still fallen asleep

"Edward Ro--"

"Just a few more minutes please, this has to last me a very long time he seemed slightly panicked that I was going to kick him out

"No Edward just roll over I can't feel my arm anymore and I want to see your face"

He didn't move, debating

"I've missed your face"

He slowly released my hand and started to turn

"It's not the same though is it?"

"Well no but mine has changed as well"

"Yes for the better he responded"

He was facing me now lying on his good side, his knees still pulled up between us

I reached out to touch his cheek and he closed his eyes, tensing

Timidly I stroked his stone face, touching his hair, his eyebrows, his temple and his marred check and finally tracing the white line of the scar

"What happened? I finally asked, scared of the response

"Perhaps another time" was his only reply

Well if you're not going to answer my question will you at least grant me one favour in return? I tempted

He smiled remembering our old game

"Anything my love"

Our faces were so close together now that our breath had become one and I knew it was affecting him as much as me

I took one last inhalation, and looked deep into his eyes

"Kiss me"

He hesitated for just a second then grabbed my face, roughly, he was hurting me

No longer aware of his strength or how fragile I was

"I don't disgust you"

"No Edward you could never disgust me you're the most beautiful person I have ever known?"

His gaze changed with realization, focused, and he released his grip slightly, looking deep into me as his lips found mine.

Cold, hard, delicious!

I inhaled his sweet breath, drinking in the perfumed honey odour of his smell.

And in an instant my hands were all over him, I grabbed fistfuls of his hair, and ran my hands down his back in an attempt to bring him even closer into me.

He straightened his legs and placed both his hands on my hips as I clutched his chest and dizzily gasped.

I felt him try to stop then, to pull away and this triggered old memories which I didn't want to even consider so I held him tighter, kissing him even harder.

My mouth opened and I found his tongue with my own, running it over his venomous teeth. Then it was he who groaned.

With sudden clarity I realized that he wasn't going to be able to stop either if we went much further.

As if reading my mind he hastily pressed me over onto my back and pulled his moist lips away from mine, hovering over me slightly

'You're making me loose control he whispered hoarsely leaning on one elbow as he brushed the hair out of my eyes

"Can't you see that my endurance is gone Bella, and soon I won't be able to stop myself.

Is this really what you want? Because I can't promise what I will do to you or if I will ever be able to stop again"

I understood what he was offering me immediately and everything became crystal clear as I realized that without him I had nothing… was nothing.

My parents were gone, I didn't have any friends, except for Jacob and he had his own family now. I had pushed everyone away, and my life was empty; meaningless.

I was utterly alone in the world as if part of me had always known that this night would come and I had subconsciously prepared for it.

And so it became obvious that he could have all of me now, and forever

"Don't stop" I said firmly as I lunged at him.

I kissed his face, his neck, his now bare chest, his rigid stomach, my hands were everywhere. He closed his eyes and raised his head as I rose to meet him, perfectly exposing my neck, he kissed it forcefully and growled, reaching down and ripping open my shirt.

I felt like I was on fire as he kissed his way across my body each of us twisting and arching to meet again and again.

His fingers once again entwined with mine as he raised my arms over my head and stopped briefly to look at me

"Are you sure? "Was all he whispered?

"Were dead without each other anyway, Edward please, take me"

Like a rattlesnake striking I felt his mouth on me, his teeth finally meeting his one desire,

The hot pulsing flesh of my neck

Without hesitation, in one glorious ark of pleasure and pain we became one.

THE END


	18. IN SEARCH OF SUNRISE teaser

_Hello my friends,_

_I just thought I would give you a small sampling of what I have been working on. _

_This is not going to be the sequel to Shattered but it will be Shattered from Edwards POV._

_In this story I will answer everyone's burning question; _

_How did Edward become disfigured?_

_I will also be explaining; _

_His life as a nomad_

_What happened to his family? (The disbanding of the Cullen Coven)_

_His time in Alaska with Tanya, and why they weren't a good match._

_And finally, what he has been doing to keep himself distracted for twenty years._

_I hope you join me for this story_

_Thanks, J bug _

**In Search Of Sunrise**

**Prologue**

The cottage was cold and damp.

If he had been alive and his lungs had been working then the breath that escaped through his lips would have been pearl coloured in the moist air.

But Edwards's lungs had not taken a true breath in over one hundred years.

He simply breathed out of habit

Nor did he notice the cold and damp of the small run down cottage; it merely served its purpose, providing him with shelter and seclusion.

The light was just starting to fade from the grey sky as Edward pushed his wooden chair back from the scratched and unstable work table. The chair making a scraping sound as it echoed through the silent room.

He had no idea how long he had been sitting at the table staring into space it may very well have been days.

Time had very little meaning to him anymore, and it often escaped him completely.

He was however feeling a familiar burning in his throat and knew that he would need to hunt very soon.

Glancing at the calendar that hung beside the table he tried to focus on the date.

What day was it? Friday, no, maybe Tuesday, he thought suddenly anxious.

What was the month? Was it summer, winter?

I can't even be sure of the year he realized miserably, standing suddenly and walking to the entrance of his one room cabin.

Opening the door he peered into the coming night, a gentle breeze moving his unruly copper brown hair

It was Twilight, he observed through the frame of the door, the leaves on the surrounding trees looking black now against the darkening sky.

"The safest time of day" he said to the silent room "the easiest time but also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of night"

He spoke these words, aloud like a mantra in his smooth, silky voice, his mind moving to another time and place as he closed his eyes.

Edward stood like a stone, unmoving, remembering. He was very good at being still.

A sudden waft of the cool night air made his nostrils twitch involuntarily and he opened his eyes smiling wistfully

The stars had just started to appear in the dusky sky, like street lights suddenly being turned on, one by one

"She likes the night; he spoke aloud again "for without the dark, we'd never see the stars"

Then instinctually he started the hunt, chasing down the sweet odour that was burning his throat, the innocent deer never had a chance.


End file.
